Consent and Resistance Mindset Mastery Exercise from the Mind Muscles Academy.
I looked at the park bench and denied its existence.
For one hour I didn’t allow the bench to exist. No matter how much energy I expended, or how I ignored the bench, it persisted.
Was I crazy or experiencing an exercise at NLP Marin? Well…maybe both. Then after an hour of meditating on the non-existence of the bench, we took a break.
I allowed the bench to be.
Then back to the bench, but this time I was instructed to allow it to exist for another hour. Not to approve or make it right, just to allow it to be.
With this allowance, I noticed the wood grain, rusty bolts and cobwebs. For an hour I allowed each aspect of the bench to be.
Not asking it to be anything other that what it was.
I noticed positive emotions arise when I neither added or took away anything from the bench…just allowing it to be as it was.
This experience was a seed that sprouted everywhere in my life.
Allowing reality to be.
Not fighting it, not judging it, not needing to filter it, or putting on rose colored glasses. Just allowing it to be.
This released so much energy in my life as I no longer needed to fight “what was” and allowed what bothered me to just “be.”
You can do this exercise for yourself.
Set an alarm for say 10-30 minutes. Select an object. Then deny its existence.
Do not allow that object to “be.”
Talk out loud and deny its existence.
Take a break, and with the same object, set the same amount of time and just allow the object to be with no need to add or subtract from the objects existence and neither approving or disapproving
- Now journal the difference.
- Notice parts of your life that you do not want to exist.
- Practice allowing those parts to just be. Not approve or make it right, just to allow it to be.
Here is one process to practice #3.
This exercise acknowledges our natural human reactions and then moves to create an intentional choice.
At first, this exercise, like everything you do for the first time, may feel a bit awkward.
As I completed the experience for different parts of my reality, it came faster and faster and felt better and better.
I can now complete the exercise in my head in just seconds when I find I want to deny the existence of something that I don’t want.
You can create an exercise to step through the process faster and faster with intention.
- Pick one part of your life, object or relationship that shouldn’t exist
- Write it down in a couple of words on a sheet of paper. Lay it on the floor at the bottom right of the pentagram illustrated below. (Awareness of the “UPS” or Unwanted Present State.)
- On a second sheet of paper write “Resist UPS”) Place it on the right hand point of the pentagram.
- Take a third sheet of paper and write an expression of acknowledgement of the UPS. (i.e. Oh My God, or WTF) Place this paper at the top of the pentagram.
- On the fourth sheet of paper write the word “OK.” Place it on the left hand point of the pentagram
- On the final sheet of paper, ask the question, “What do I want now?”
- Lay them out on the floor in the pentagram shape in the diagram below/
- Select an UPS (Unwanted Present State). Step on that paper. Fully experience the state as unwanted and unpleasant or other emotions that come up. What language, words, thoughts or pictures exaggerate this UPS?
- Step onto the “Resist UPS” sheet and intentionally resist that state’s existence. Experience your resistance fully and completely. Take all the time you need. It should NOT exist!
- Next, step on the OMG sheet and allow yourself to feel the impact of the UPS, with your own words that may sound like OMG or WTF. Fully experience the impact.
- Then, when ready, step on the OKAY paper. This is not “it’s okay” in the sense of resignation, but just OKAY as in “it is.”
- Give the state your consent. Once consenting, step on the final sheet and ask yourself, “And now, what would I like?”
What was your experience in terms of energy, hope, quality of thoughts, physical posture, creativity and emotions?
Writing these down will help as you repeat the exercise for additional issues.
Once you have the exercise in your muscle memory, you can do it in your head at times when you are faced with an unpleasant experience.
Founder - Mind Muscles Academy
Attribution: Self-sabotage image by Ken Needham on Unsplash